


All You Are

by aerstwhyle



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: F/M, Introspection, Romance, Short, and a little bit on the angsty side, au-ish, the 'ish' is very important
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2017-07-13
Packaged: 2018-12-01 14:22:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11488182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aerstwhyle/pseuds/aerstwhyle
Summary: No more, no less.Because her kisses are band aids over bullet holes, her touches nicotine and her love nothing but cold hard liquor.  Fine for now.  Only for now.





	All You Are

His kisses taste like salt and feel like desperation, and his lips burn her skin where they trail, against her mouth, over her chin and down her throat.  His dark eyes are sad, staring without seeing whenever she is not there, so far away and so lonely that it makes her want to cry for him.  She wants so much to take it away—his sadness, his fears—but cannot, simply because she doesn’t know how to.

 

How do you make someone happy?

 

How do you make someone love themselves as much you do?

 

You can’t.

 

You don’t.

 

Her kisses are band aids over bullet holes, her touches nicotine and her love nothing but cold hard liquor.  Fine for now.  Only for now.

 

It makes her wonder, under this farce fueled shelter she’s built around the two of them, about the what ifs, and the longer she lingers both there and in here, the harder it is to look reality in the face.

 

Because if the world were the perfect the place, she might have married him, and if humans were a near perfect race, he might have loved her the right way.  And yet, if everything were as it was told in fairytales and storybooks, she might have never met him at all.  But—  

 

But.  

 

They might have been so much more, than what they are.

 

They could have, they should have, they would have—things she tells herself every night.  Maybe, maybe, maybe—but even then, that’s only a maybe.  Not even concrete.  Half, no more, no less.  

 

Half is what she gives him, half her heart, half her love, half her story—because no matter how many times she tries to tell herself that he deserves so much more, she cannot bring herself to give any more than that.  She—she’s…

 

She is afraid.  

 

Afraid that if she gives all of her, she will never get it back.  

 

Or something more sinister...  

 

That he never wanted all of it—all of her—in the first place.

 

So, with determination in her eyes and defeated acceptance in her heart, she sticks to the maybes, the could’ve, should’ve, would’ve’s.

 

It’s easier this way.  It’s better.

 

When he finds something, someone, someplace, _better_ —when it’s his turn to turn his back to her again—then at the very least, she will still have half of herself.

 

That will be okay.  It will be okay.  She will be okay.

 

She has never been worth enough for someone to stay, what’s one more person gone anyway?

 

Nothing, that’s what.

 

For now, this—pretenses and purple prose and pretty little lies—will have to be enough.  Sufficient, yeah, that’s the word.

 

This is sufficient.

 

She’ll live.

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing for Tokyo Ghoul! Hope you liked and enjoyed~


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